Sex Toys for Beginners: Where to Start

Your first toy is really about getting to know yourself, or each other, and feeling comfortable with what you enjoy. Buying one can feel like a bigger decision than it is. There are thousands of products, unfamiliar words and a wide range of prices. The good news is that a great first toy is usually simple, small and inexpensive, and you can learn everything you need in a few minutes.

This guide walks through the choices in order: what kind of toy, what it should be made of, what to use with it, and how to look after it.

Start With What You Already Enjoy

The best first toy builds on what already feels good, rather than trying something completely new.

• If you have a vulva, most people reach orgasm through clitoral stimulation, so an external toy is the easiest place to start. A small vibrator or an air-pulse toy works for most people.
• If you have a penis, a simple manual stroker is the most familiar step up from your hand.
• If you have a prostate and are curious, start with a slim, beginner-sized toy and read our prostate massage for beginners guide first.
• If you are shopping as a couple, a small bullet or a vibrating ring is easy to bring into sex without changing much.

You do not need to know what you will love yet. A first toy is how you find out.

The Easiest First Toys

Toy	What It Does	Good For
Bullet vibrator	Small, focused vibration	Beginners, couples, travel
Air-pulse toy	Contact-free pressure waves over the clitoris	Fast, intense but gentle sensation
Mini wand	Broad, deep vibration in a small body	People who find bullets too buzzy
Manual stroker	A soft sleeve with internal texture	A first toy for penis owners
Vibrating ring	Vibration at the base of the penis during sex	Couples

For Vulva Owners

A bullet is the simplest vibrator there is. It is small, quiet enough for most homes and easy to hold during solo play or sex. An air-pulse toy sits over the clitoris and uses pressure waves rather than direct vibration, which many people find intense without being harsh. A mini wand gives broader, rumblier vibration than a bullet.

All three are external, which is where most people start. Internal toys such as G-spot vibrators and rabbits are good second toys once you know you enjoy penetration. Our guide on how to choose your first vibrator goes deeper.

• 

  Easy Air Pulse

  Romp Shine X Rechargeable Silicone Clitoral Air Stimulator

  ROMP · $47.00

  Contact-free pressure waves from Womanizer’s sister brand, at an entry price. Gentle to start, easy to like.

  Check Price at LuxuryToyX
• 

  First Bullet

  VUSH Peachy Bullet Vibrator

  VUSH · $36.00

  Small, rechargeable and easy to hold. Works for solo play and during sex.

  Check Price at LuxuryToyX
• 

  First Mini Wand

  Le Wand Mini Vibe – Rechargeable Silicone Micro Wand Massager

  Le Wand · $29.00

  Broad, rumbly vibration in a small body. A good choice if bullets feel too buzzy.

  Check Price at LuxuryToyX

Browse clitoral vibrators (from $26.00) and bullet vibrators (from $18.00).

For Penis Owners

A manual stroker is a soft sleeve with texture inside. You add lube and use it as you would your hand, but the sensation is very different. Single-use options, such as Tenga’s cups and eggs, are the lowest-commitment way to try one. Reusable strokers cost a little more and last for years with basic care.

• 

  Lowest Commitment

  Tenga Egg

  Tenga · $20.00

  A stretchy, single-use egg with lube included. The easiest way to find out whether you like strokers.

  Check Price at LuxuryToyX
• 

  First Reusable

  Tenga Spinner Soft – Supple Twisting Masturbator Stroker

  Tenga · $29.00

  A reusable Tenga whose internal spiral turns the sleeve as you stroke. Easy to clean and built to last.

  Check Price at LuxuryToyX
• 

  Compact Pocket Stroker

  Arcwave Ghost Pocket Stroker

  Arcwave · $25.00

  A small, manual stroker from a design-led men’s brand. Discreet and simple.

  Check Price at LuxuryToyX

If you are choosing between brands, our Fleshlight vs. Tenga guide compares the two best-known names. Browse all sex toys for men.

For Couples

The easiest shared toys are the ones that fit into what you already do. A vibrating ring sits at the base of the penis, helps maintain firmness and puts vibration where both partners can feel it. A small bullet can be held between bodies during sex. A couples vibrator such as the We-Vibe Sync is worn during penetration, but it is a bigger step and costs more.

• 

  First Couples Toy

  Svakom Tyler Silicone Rechargeable Clitoral Stimulating Couple's Ring

  Svakom · $69.00

  A rechargeable vibrating ring that helps with firmness and adds vibration both partners feel.

  Check Price at LuxuryToyX
• 

  Wear It During Sex

  We-Vibe Sync Lite App Control Rechargeable Silicone Couples Vibrator

  We-Vibe · $89.00

  A lighter version of We-Vibe’s couples vibrator, worn during penetration. A bigger step, but a popular one.

  Check Price at LuxuryToyX

Our guide on how to use sex toys with a partner covers how to bring a toy up and how to introduce it.

Choose Body-Safe Materials

Material matters more than features. Look for:

• Silicone. Non-porous, easy to clean and long-lasting. The best choice for most toys.
• ABS plastic, glass or stainless steel. Also non-porous and body-safe.
• Stroker materials. Soft, skin-like sleeve materials are porous by nature, so clean and dry them carefully after each use.

Avoid toys described as jelly or rubber, especially if they have a strong chemical smell. They can be hard to clean and may irritate skin.

Add a Good Lube

Lube is not a sign that something is wrong. It makes almost every toy more comfortable and more enjoyable, and it is the cheapest upgrade you can make.

• Water-based lube works with every toy and every condom, and it rinses off with water. If you only buy one bottle, buy this. Browse water-based lube (from $15.00).
• Silicone lube lasts much longer and works in the shower, but it can damage silicone toys over time. Keep it for sex without toys. See silicone lube.

• 

  Everyday Water-Based

  Sliquid Naturals H2O Intimate Lubricant

  Sliquid · $20.00

  Safe with every toy and condom, and rinses off with water. The one bottle to buy first.

  Check Price at LuxuryToyX
• 

  Long-Lasting Silicone

  Uber Lube

  Uber Lube · $20.00

  A silky, long-lasting lube for sex without toys and for the shower. Keep it away from silicone toys.

  Check Price at LuxuryToyX

Our guide to which lube to use with your toys explains the details.

Your First Time Using a Toy

1. Give yourself time and privacy. There is no target. Treat it as exploring.
2. Start with the lowest setting and stay there for a while. Most people find the first setting is plenty.
3. Use it over underwear at first if direct contact feels too strong.
4. Add a little lube to the toy and to yourself.
5. Move slowly and try small changes in angle and pressure.
6. Stop if anything hurts. Discomfort means slow down or try something gentler.

It is normal if the first session feels a bit odd. Many people find a toy feels better the second or third time, once it no longer feels new.

Keep It Clean

Clean your toy before the first use and after every use:

1. Wash with warm water and mild, unscented soap or a toy cleaner.
2. Rinse well and pat dry with a clean towel, or let it air dry.
3. For waterproof toys, rinse under the tap. For others, wipe carefully and keep the charging port dry.
4. Store it somewhere clean and dry, ideally in a pouch, away from other toys.

Our full guide on how to clean sex toys covers each material.

Privacy and Discretion

If you share a home, a few small choices help:

• Choose a small toy. Bullets, lipstick-style vibrators and compact strokers are easy to store and look unremarkable in a drawer or bag. See discreet sex toys.
• Think about noise. Lower settings are much quieter, and rumbly toys are less noticeable than buzzy ones. See quiet vibrators.
• Packaging. Orders ship from our retail partner in plain packaging. Check the retailer’s shipping page for current details.

How Much to Spend

You do not need to spend much on a first toy. A small, rechargeable silicone vibrator or a single-use stroker from a well-known brand is enough to find out what you like. Spending more usually buys a quieter motor, more settings and a better finish, which makes more sense once you know what you enjoy.

Everything in our sex toys for beginners collection comes from established brands at approachable prices. If you want to wait for a markdown, check current deals.

What to Try Next

Once you know what you enjoy, a second toy should add something new:

• If you love your bullet, try an air-pulse clitoral toy or a wand.
• If you want internal sensation, try a G-spot vibrator.
• If you love your stroker, try an automatic stroker.
• If you want to play together, see our guide to the best couples sex toys.