Pegging for Beginners: Gear, Prep and a Gentle First Time

Pegging is when one partner uses a strap-on to penetrate another partner anally. It is often, but not always, a woman penetrating a man. It is increasingly common, and it works for any couple.

The recipient may enjoy the prostate stimulation, the role reversal or the intimacy. The giver may enjoy the control. Both need preparation to make it comfortable.

Start With the Conversation

Talk about it first, outside the bedroom. Explain what appeals to you, ask about concerns and agree on a safe word. Neither partner should feel pressured. If the recipient has never had anal play, start with a smaller toy and build up.

What You Need

Start with a kit, which pairs a harness with a compatible dildo. Browse strap-on kits or the full strap-ons and harnesses range.

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  Best Beginner Kit

  Together Duo 2-Piece 5 / 7 in. Silicone Dildo & Harness Set

  Together Toys · $79.00

  A harness and dildo in one box that fit each other. Solves the hardest part of getting started.

  Check Price at LuxuryToyX
• 

  Best Warm-Up Toy

  Tailz Snap-On Small Silicone Anal Plug

  Tailz · $17.00

  A small silicone plug with a flared base. Lets the recipient relax before the main event.

  Check Price at LuxuryToyX
• 

  Best Lube

  Swiss Navy Premium Water Base Lubricant

  Swiss Navy · $20.00

  Thick and water-based, safe with silicone. Use more than you think you need.

  Check Price at LuxuryToyX

Choosing the Harness

Comfort matters most for the wearer. Underwear-style harnesses are the easiest for beginners. Check that straps adjust, the O-ring is the right size for the dildo base, and the material is soft. Test the fit before the first time, with the toy.

Choosing the Dildo

Start small. A slim, tapered silicone dildo with a flared base is best. Avoid anything wider or longer than the recipient has used before. You can go bigger later. See our butt plug and anal toys options for warming up.

Prep for the Recipient

• Warm up with a smaller toy. A butt plug or fingers helps the muscles relax.
• Empty the bowels if it helps you feel at ease.
• Relax. A warm bath and arousal help.
• Use a lot of lube. The rectum does not self-lubricate. Read our lube guide.

The First Time

1. Start with foreplay and plenty of arousal.
2. Warm up the recipient with fingers or a small toy.
3. Lube everything, including the toy and the recipient.
4. Go slowly. The giver should insert only the tip first and wait.
5. Let the recipient control the pace, such as by pushing back.
6. Stop if there is pain. Pause, add lube and breathe.
7. Communicate throughout.

Positions

• Recipient on all fours: gives the giver control and good access.
• Spooning: relaxed and slow, good for beginners.
• Recipient on their back with legs up: allows eye contact and easier control.

Aftercare

Clean the toy and harness with warm water and soap or a toy cleaner. Check in with each other. Talk about what worked and what you would change.

Where to Go Next

If you are exploring new things together, see how to spice up your marriage, the best couples sex toys and prostate massage for beginners.